sharks every time theres a cataclysmic extinction event: damn thats crazy. anyway
Good thing I’m so smooth
here, have some happy girls and their girlfriends/wives/significant others ♥
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Two identical infants lay in the cradle. “One you bore, the other is a Changeling. Choose wisely,” the Fae’s voice echoed from the shadows. “I’m taking both my children,” the mother said defiantly.
Once upon a time there was a peasant woman who was unhappy because she had no children. She was happy in all other things – her husband was kind and loving, and they owned their farm and had food and money enough. But she longed for children.
She went to church and prayed for a child every Sunday, but no child came. She went to every midwife and wise woman for miles around, and followed all their advice, but no child came.
So at last, though she knew of the dangers, she drew her brown woolen shawl over her head and on Midsummer’s Eve she went out to the forest, to a certain clearing, and dropped a copper penny and a lock of her hair into the old well there, and she wished for a child.
“You know,” a voice said behind her, a low and cunning voice, a voice that had a coax and a wheedle and a sly laugh all mixed up in it together, “that there will be a price to pay later.”
She did not turn to look at the creature. She knew better. “I know it,” she said, still staring into the well. “And I also know that I may set conditions.”
“That is true,” the creature said, after a moment, and there was less laugh in its voice now. It wasn’t pleased that she knew that. “What condition do you set? A boy child? A lucky one?”
“That the child will come to no harm,” she said, lifting her head to stare into the woods. “Whether I succeed in paying your price, or passing your test, or not, the child will not suffer. It will not die, or be hurt, or cursed with ill luck or any other thing. No harm of any kind.”
“Ahhhhh.” The sound was long and low, between a sigh and a hum. “Yes. That is a fair condition. Whatever price there is, whatever test there is, it will be for you and you alone.” A long, slender hand extended into her sight, almost human save for the skin, as pale a green as a new leaf. The hand held a pear, ripe and sweet, though the pears were nowhere ripe yet. “Eat this,” the voice said, and she trembled with the effort of keeping her eyes straight ahead. “All of it, on your way home. Before you enter your own gate, plant the core of it beside the gate, where the ground is soft and rich. You will have what you ask for.”
i was worried my cat is dehydrated because i never see him drink water so i’ve started leaving a cup of water that’s “mine” (aka he sees me drink out of it once before he does) in my room so he thinks he is being a rebellious naughty by drinking out of it but rlly he is just following my plan & being hydrated .
God in the Garden of Eden
Absolutely obsessed with the implications of this comment
This feels like the start to a horror movie and I love it
From his viewpoint– suddenly this woman he’s been sending pictures of his junk goes from “hey, let’s meet up” to “Hello Brian Smith of 1214 Idyllic Terrace. Does your wife Rose know you’re here? How about your mother?”
He panics and blocks her. He’s sponging off of his wife, and if he gets busted, there goes his gravy train.
And then the woman shows up. In his house. She just got a job working with his wife, who absolutely adores her, and brought her home for dinner. And she’s doing that movie maniac thing where the entire conversation is about Brian, but Rose is clueless and whenever Rose isn’t looking she’s got cold eyes on him.
He tries to stay calm, and act like everything’s normal, and he gets up to get a beer or something and when he turns around from the fridge, Patty is standing there.
“Unlock your phone and give it to me right now.”
“I’m not–”
“Right. Now.”
She installs something on it and hands it back.
“I’ll be in touch. Don’t try to change phones.”
He tries to convince his wife not to be friends with her, even tries the “I think she was coming on to me” line, to which the wife is “Oh, that was definitely in your head. Marge is a lesbian.”
And she just gets progressively scarier throughout the film. He gives her a small payoff. She wants more. She leaves a package for Rose on the front door, but conveniently he gets there first and opens it to find printouts of screenshots. More clues get left behind. He’s only able to keep her from finding out through a combination of sheer luck and her gullibility in believing every explanation he comes up with for his odd behavior. Finally he dips into the secret account he’s been using to hide money he’s been stealing from his wife, and it’s a HUGE payout, but she wants MORE.
And then he comes home to find Marge sitting cheerfully next to Rose’s dead body. And Marge is like “Man, the police always start looking at the husband, and they’re going to find a whole bunch of stuff when they look through your texts. You’ve been promising this woman you’re going to leave your wife. You’ve been sending her money. Oh, she’s a catfish from an untraceable IP, and your wife was talking to the bank JUST THIS AFTERNOON about some odd transactions. You panicked and killed her, and you’ve got NO evidence otherwise. I bet you could be on a flight to a non-extradition country before they find the body, though.”
He runs out the door. Marge starts laughing.
Rose joins in.
They kiss.
As the credits roll, you see the events from Rose’s point of view– having drinks with the new girl from work, with whom she’s getting along amazingly, and Marge’s phone goes off. “God, it’s this asshole from Tinder. He keeps sending me dick pics. Sooner or later they’re going to learn. It’s not even a nice dick. LOOK AT THIS. Who finds that attractive???”
“I… used to? Holy fuck, that’s my husband. ”
and the hatching of the plan, to just keep fucking with him, up to “Okay, so, I’m gonna leave it on the doorstep. Make sure you’re a few minutes late, HE has to find it”
“Oh, god, he tried to tell me it was the mailman. At 8:30. It was so pathetic.”
“WHERE DID HE GET TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS FROM? I’m paying off his goddamn college loans!”
Rose reporting to the police that her husband has been embezzling money from her disabled mother’s trust fund.
The police catching him in the airport. He’s smart enough to say nothing without his lawyer present, and by the time he knows what’s going on, he’s realizes exactly how fucked he is.
The trailer is a slowed down horror version of the Piña Colada Song.
Interspecies lesbianism
It’s cute guys
nothing but respect for MY lesbian big cat couple
Butch/Butch couple
This is actually hella interesting, bc in simple terms, tigers are extroverts and lions are introverts. There’s more to it, but that’s the gist.
Whenever zoo’s tried to put lions and tigers in the same enclosures, the tiger would eventually try to groom the lioness and play constantly. The lioness would lose patience and snaps at them
So basically what I’m saying is that you have a regal and refined gf who stands at the edge of a balcony during parties, sipping champagne
Then you have the other girl who drank all of the little flutes on the servers platter, and is now drunkenly pointing at her gf and telling everyone that that’s her gf and doesn’t she look beautiful I love her so much
So I had to draw them in human form???
You drew them in the corresponding ethnicities for their Geographic locations!!! Bless you, you have no idea how sick and tired I am of white human lion king characters.
THE TIGER/LION LESBIANS ARE BACK!
CAT LESBIANS!
my theory is that reincarnation is real and that's why everything is so fucked up. we got too many people on earth and their souls were supposed to spend a few more cycles as endangered animals or smthn but we fucked the environment and overpopulated. so we get guys who was SUPPOSED to be black-footed ferrets or whatever til their soul reached maturity but instead they're like, influencers and politicians. this is also why furries exist.
thinkin about that one guy who ran into Artemis out in the forest and she just turn him into a girl so she could join the hunt
transition speedrun strategy
this has been one of very few good tags in the 10,000+ tags that have been added to this post
A break from swimming
[Image description: Illustration of a person and a mermaid kissing in a pool. The mermaid has dark skin, black to pink colored braids and a teal tail. The girl that kisses her has light skin, short wavy hair and wears a black bikini. The girl sits on the edge of the pool while the mermaid rest between her legs, hugging her waist. Next to them there is a water bottle, a towel and a ladder. End description]